Nathan's Occasional Blog

I couldn’t resist posting some tasty bits from an article in the Houston Chronicle…

Dear MasterCard,
This is to inform you of a change in our credit agreement. It has come to my attention that you are unable to keep my credit and debit card information safe.
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Effective May 1, 2005, any compromise of my data will result in a $50 liability for you, the card issuer, owed to me, the card holder.
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Cashing the payment check I sent you last month (which you did) shall constitute your acceptance of this agreement. Subsequent security breaches will compound the fee. I will spell out the terms of just how much these fees and related costs will escalate as soon as I find a typeface that is small enough.
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By the way, I recently incorporated myself in South Dakota, which means I can now engage in usury as much as you can. Therefore, I have selected an annual percentage rate of 28.7 percent. However, failure to make payments will force me to raise this rate to 73.9 percent, just because I can.
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And one more thing. I expect my payment to be on my desk by 12:37 p.m. on the day it’s due. I’m usually at lunch at that time, so I will consider it late if it’s not there by 11:24 a.m. After that, all the previously listed finance charges will apply. The date the payment is mailed is irrelevant.
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Also, given the widespread nature of the security problems, I am going to share information with my fellow consumers. If I determine you failed to secure their private account information, I may be forced to enact the terms specified in this agreement even though you did not violate the agreement with me. Call it universal default in reverse.