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Separation anxiety

January 9, 2006

I never thought I’d be the person who would get all mushy at the prospect of leaving home for 9 days.  I mean I always miss Alicea when I travel, but I’ve never turned into a sobering idiot.  That changed tonight.

So what’s different this time?  I think a huge part of it is Kaitlyn.  She’s so aware of what’s going on these days, and the development she’s made in the last couple weeks is simply astonishing.  She’s now sitting up for extended periods with no problems, she can roll back to front – and now front to back, and she’s finally figuring out that solid food is a pretty cool thing.

I got to the airport here in Seattle, on my way to Charlotte via red eye flight (yuck), and had to find the nearest bar.  One nice big Alaskan Amber later I don’t necessarily feel better about leaving my beautiful girls behind, but I sure am tired enough to guarantee I’ll sleep on the flight.  Plus I got myself moved to an exit row so I’ll have plenty of leg room.  [Good thing it’s an aisle seat with all that beer I just had].

The other think that’s got me down is the whole reason I’m headed to Charlotte.  My dad is going in for surgery on Wednesday morning.  Cancer.  They caught it early and all that, but still.  Yuck.

When my folks were out for Christmas they brought along all this stuff to read … probably 25 pages of materials.  I read 2 pages, and skimmed Dad’s test results.  I just couldn’t motivate myself to read the rest.  Hell, motivate?  I completely put it out of my mind.

For better or worse, I just ignore stuff that I don’t want to overwhelm me.  I did the same when Alicea got sick, and Kaitlyn was born so early.  Why worry about the details?  I figure a doc will let me know the pertinent parts if I need to know.  I’ll ask a few questions to get the general idea, but that’s really it.

It’s served me well so far, hopefully that track record will continue.

Well that’s all for now.  Time to go sit in a cramped airline seat.  BLAH.

I love you Kaitlyn.  I love you Alicea.  Miss you already.

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